Saturday, June 27, 2015

Oh It's Over!

Hey there!
omg I swear I haven't been here for so long koot hahaha. idk been too lazy to update anything, because not that anyone would read about my life anyway hahaha. but well I'm telling anyway :p

okay so, hmm where do I start. Oh! I have finished my second year!  *applause* Well that's a start hahaha. Oh  yes I have. I swear to you it's been a long looooong year. Sum up the two semesters, it's a miracle that I still alive. But well thanks to Him that He allows me to. I can't do any of this without Him. And thanks to Him that He sent such people in my life to help me to live. 

so well, this one year has brought so many changes that I could never think of. So many kot. well, some are good, some aren't that good (to me haha) and some are, idk. I kinda not ready for the change so yeah its bad (still, for me hahaha). but oh well, everything changes. everybody does. what to expect. plus to some people, i might've changed too so yeah, its a win-win i guess. 

life is a loong long time for learning. if we stops learning, we dies. so yeah, the changes are not that bad i guess. we need those changes to remind us for not living too comfortably in the circle, or box, or whatever container you have. we gotta adapt. thats another way to keep on living.

and yes, i gotta let some things go, because clearly i cannot make people stay when they refuse to, just like i don't want to be held on to stay if i don't want to. kan. not that i mad, tho i kinda mad, weh apa belit cakap. haha, no i mean, some people gave up too early and too easily, so i kinda mad on that one. but then again, what to expect kan. people's limits are miscellaneous. maybe i can stand holding on for some people for so long, but i can't stand on some other thing. so its fair kot. haha.

and for this one year long, I started to see the other side of some people around me. so many drama (facepalm) so many butthurt, hurt and all haha. but it's nice to look on the other side of the things. like you knew this person for being kinda rough and hurting, but hey, he's got that fluffy side of him too and i think that is kinda cute haha. and next, you think you've known this person forever, but who knows he gotta be that one person that turn his back on you. well, that's escalated quickly ain't it haha. 

so, 'course. life is full of surprises. it's either you're ready or not to go through it. but, if you're ready then its not being called surprise lah kan deyy hahaha. takpe, He knows your struggle, He'll help. You just gotta trust Him because trust me, He'll love it when you tell Him stories and beg Him for some return, you gotta do what you gotta do.yelah takkan lah ambil dari Dia tapi tak beri apa-apa.its give and take. gitu. 

so then, i'd like to thank a few people for helping me through this year :

for my classmates, group mates, Ayam-Ayam Gebu squad (because we have been rearing and selling ayam this semester haha) and all mates that ever been around. i'm so sorry if i haven't contributed so much in any part, but trust me i tried already. and yeah maybe i could give more, but i haven't got the strength at the time haha.

for my MTM mates. especially Hayyi and Bella (not me) haha because without them I find it super hard to accomplished the tasks and all. so yeah thanks. and to other MTM that have been around, those who had gave support, tunjuk ajar and all. it has been a privilege to be a part of MTM for this one whole year. it was such a great experience i swear! 

for me familia of course. i've got my moments too. one time i called mom and cried cause i have been missing dad for so much. haihh i didn't meant to make her worried and cried too, i just need to tell her haha. (but i did call her the next day to show that i'm fine haha) so no sweat. 

for my friends. whomever that have been around and help, those are friends. especially my roomie, Syeera. who had been patient to my weird being, who listens to all my screams ( as i have to listen to hers hahaha sorry bae) who would come close and just hold me whenever i've been too weak to even speak and it all comes out as tears. ahah yes i'm that crybaby. and then for Chot and Husaini. who have been around and helped a lot. yang layan perangai seorang Bell yang annoying, bising at times, yang boleh randomly nangis kat tempat2 awam contohnya makmal kimia, kat bilik meeting and beberapa tempat lain yang tak mahu dibagitahu sebab malu haha. oh and to those who aren't near, who are like 4900 or 6700 or 160 miles away, to Naufal sebab aku suka meroyan kat kau about almost everything.  because you sometimes came at the wrong time and there you goes you have to listen to it all haha. thanks for the wise words. to Fateha and Rozila who has been giving all those good words, wishes and supports that i need at most of the times. whenever i feel like nobody can help, i seek for these two and they always lead me to Him so yeah, i could not replace them with anyone else. :)

ahh i could not thank everyone much. ni dah macam appreciation post pun ye jugak haha but well it kinda is. oh and, for you,

i can see how good your life now is. i believe that you're doing just fine. because it has been what you always wanted, so i'm proud of you. and i'm happy for you. it seems like you finally have your own people who you could hang around with. and me is not a part of it. but no worries (not that you would anyways). i just, idk, really hope that one day we could meet, at the right time, right place, with the right people, just to make sure that we are good with each other. maybe we had our own story but, believe me, i'm all good now. well i just want to tell that i'm happy for you. thats all. haha. okay this is getting weirder hahaha.

so well, for dad, i'm all good. tho i might tell myself that i could die any moment prior to whatever i might have to face, or whatever that has happened. but its just a metaphor tho haha. me and exaggerating feelings kan. i realy really hope you are well over there, for its Ramadhan now. i really miss you tho. i really hope that you were around to watch me grow and turn stronger, or maybe i'm just stronger because you aren't around anymore. nevertheless, i'll try my best in the near future to make you proud. but well, this year i haven't been giving my best on my academics, but i'll try harder soon i promise. i love you. 

that should be all. for the world to see haha. i'm still keeping lots of things for only me. okay. 

When life is tough, get tougher :)